Friday Funk: Craft Beer Cozy Sandal is thankfully not also a coozy

stone brewing cozy sandal — Only for your disgusting feet, not your delicious Stone beer.

You have no idea how long I stared at this photo and tried to figure out how (and why??) this sandal also turned into a coozy. It could be calculated in days, not hours. Until finally, I remembered the word cozy was also something — a word that aptly describes footwear and has nothing to do with keeping a beer cold, despite being just one “o” short of doing so.

The thing is, I only really wanted to post this story because I thought the idea of a wearable foot coozy was so bizarre, but by the time I realized that I couldn’t read, I had invested way too much time to turn around. So, let’s discuss what this actually is.

What this actually is, is the Craft Beer Cozy Sandal Collection — a collaboration between Sanuk, a division of Deckers Brands, and Stone Brewing Co. The companies say this collaboration celebrates Sanuk’s elevated appreciation for extraordinary good taste and unparalleled comfort, designed to take you to your hoppy place, but unfortunately, not designed to be taken off and wrapped around a Stone IPA on a hot day.

The collection will consist of three signature Sanuk styles including the Beer Cozy Hop Top Slide, Beer Cozy Hop Top and Beer Cozy 2 — none of which do anything other than slide on to your disgusting feet, which is really all they should do. Each piece of the collection bears Stone’s signature gargoyle logo coupled with subtle touches of Sanuk’s iconic green, and while, you have to admit, the material does kind of look like it could be coozy material and does bear the logo of a well known beer brand, it is just meant to be footwear.

“We are thrilled to partner with Stone Brewing — this will be the first time they’ve collaborated with a shoe brand, and this will also mark a new, exciting chapter for Sanuk in collaborations,” said VP of Marketing Ethan Anderson. “Sanuk’s Beer Cozy Collection is a classic sandal franchise, and collaborating with Stone truly elevates and brings authenticity to this celebrated line.”

The limited-edition sandals are made in small quantities and are only available at select retailers and Sanuk.com. This is the first product collaboration Sanuk has released into the marketplace. No word on if a second collection will emerge that has anything to do with beverage temperature regulation.